Friday, September 4, 2009

Anxiety is setting in- 3dp5dt

Today I am finally feeling better. While my stomach still looks like a battlefield I am much more mobile and in less pain. I guess I have hidden the emotional impact the last week has had on me. It dawned on me today that there is the very real possibility that I am pregnant. I want to run off to Walmart and clear the entire shelf of home pregnancy tests. I know it is way too early but the anxiety of every ache and cramp is overwhelming. I can't really place the pain. Is it the hole where my gallbladder use to be, or is it the nestling of my embryos getting comfy? I can feel the anxiety setting in and I just wish the 11th would hurry up and get here. There is no way I can wait that long before I pee on a stick but today is way to early right??

We found out that of the 6 remaining embryos, 3 failed to grow and the other 3 we can put on ice. I feel blessed to have some remaining but just really hope this is it.

I really appreciate all the kind words and encouragement. I am lucky to have such a wonderful support system of family, friends and fellow bloggers. It isn't an easy road, so it definitely helps to have others out there in the same boat.

As I have said before my husband has been amazing. I never knew he could do so much laundry and cleaning, all those years I thought it was a handicap. He even went so far as buying me underwear at Kohls. That is love. These aren't nice underwear either, these are the underwear you swear you wouldn't even be buried in.

I am also extremely bored so the time is going by so slowly. I have decided to tackle the wedding scrapbook thing today. I have put it off long enough. First I am buying a maternity body pillow from The Company Store. It is exactly what I need right now. Yes, I know I shouldn't jinx it, but my belly already hurts from the surgery and I will use it anyway. Friends have told me it is the best sleep ever. My hubby made a wall of pillows between us in the bed so he doesn't roll over onto me. He tosses and rolls like crazy. Then I am going to buy the
Benriner Turning Slicer. This thing looks awesome and I have always loved veggie pasta so I figure I will try it out. Thanks Kristen! Being laid up isn't a good thing for an addicted online shopper, but I have a coupon so I can validate it.

Cheers to a wonderful Labor Day weekend!


  1. I just love you! You're so strong and courageous to go through all of this. Keep up the awesome work, gorgeous!!!

    Good news, we're off to NY hopefully next week to pursue the frozen transfer. We'll probably drive home so I'm not flying (could cause blood clotting probs and I don't want to take baby aspirin).

    I'm already thinking about what I'll do during that two week wait for the first blood test. Driving home for 5 days of it I'm sure. The rest of the time... NETFLIX and I will become BEST FRIENDS!


  2. I just found your blog while I was laying around relaxing after my 5 day transfer. I wish you luck and hope it worked!! I'll keep everything crossed for you. I have my beta test the day before you so hopefully we'll both get good news. I couldn't wait to pee on a stick either so I did a home pregnancy test last night and there was a very very faint line so hopefully it's for real. It's kind of silly because faint or not it's there but because it's not a dark line I don't believe it as much. Good luck!!

  3. Thanks Ladies! I have been POAS since Sunday and while I am trying not to rely on something I bought at Walmart things are looking as I hoped, well at least on a plastic stick :)

    Kristen-Good Luck in NY. I will be thinking of you. How far of a drive is that for you? It is really inspiring that you go all that way. I feel bad complaining over all the woes when my clinic is at the hospital 12 miles away!
    How exciting, you are likely on the road. Believe me I spent a week on the couch and I rarely watch TV! I was/still kind of going stir crazy. I am anxiously awaiting my Benriner so I can have some fun in the kitchen. Please let us know how things are going. The dreaded 2ww is enough to drive you insane but in the end hopefully it will all be worth it!

    Amy-Thanks for checking out my blog. We are almost IVF twins! I know how the analzying of each line goes. I actually brought mine to all different light sources to be sure I wasn't hallucinating. I will be sure to stop back to your blog for your news. Keep up the positive attitude! I plan to go get my BW done first thing Friday morning that way I can hopefully get my results asap before the weekend.

    Good Luck to both of you! Such an exciting time for all of us :)

  4. Hi Brooke,
    The drive home will be slow (purposefully) so that we can relax. It'll be like a mini vacation. :)

    I'm thinking about you!